Obituary of Rose Mary Hughes

Rosie was a first-generation American born during the Great Depression to invincible Hungarian parents who had fled the horrors of the Great War. Even in the womb, she showed great persistence. Upon discovering her pregnancy, her mother attempted to abort her with a pint of gin. Her dear mother never drank but was terrified of another mouth to feed. Thankfully, the consequences were merely a pounding hangover and about 48 hours of regret. Nine months later, Rosie was born at the family farm with an immediate and lifelong aversion to juniper berries. She was the youngest of four. Her siblings were considerably older, making her the “spoiled little brat.” Despite their ribbing, she loved and cherished them equally. Rosie first learned English when she started school. She attended School 20, Laurleton Elementary and Webster High School. She resisted their attempts to “cure” her left-handedness and temper her desire to achieve the same academic and athletic opportunities as the boys. She excelled in academics, cheerleading, and Drama Club. She was a member of the 1949 sectional champion girl’s field hockey team. Despite the administration’s efforts to discourage her candidacy, she was the first girl to run for Student Council president. Although she didn’t win, the experience inspired her lifelong passion for both civil and women’s rights. Rosie was the first in her family to attend college. Despite her parents not having gone past the third grade, they valued education. In 1949, they sent her to the New York State College for Teachers at Albany (now The University of Albany). It was there she met her soulmate Robert J. (Bob) Hughes. She first laid eyes on him on stage as he was casting a theatrical musical he had written. His foot was perched on a piano bench, elbow resting on his knee while smoking a pipe. He cast Rosie as the romantic lead character Margiana, the beautiful bandit queen. The rest is both theatrical and genealogical history. As a sublime rebuke to her high school administrators, she was promptly elected an officer of the Student Council and member of Myskania. Upon graduation, she taught for two years at Kenmore High School while waiting for Bob to complete his master’s degree. Upon his graduation, they married. However, the U.S. military had other plans for their future. Bob was drafted into the Army, but good fortune prevailed, and he was stationed in France to fight the Korean War. Rosie followed on the RMS Queen Mary to join him as a civilian employee of the U.S. Army Dependents School. Much to the disgust (and audible gasps) of the white upper crust passengers, she had the unique honor of dancing with John Hope Franklin, the Presidential Medal of Freedom winning African American Historian, who was one of Bob’s great academic inspirations. She would later recall he and his aide were the only passengers of color on the ship. While stationed in Paris with the 9th Truck Group of the famed Red Ball Express, Bob and Rosie took every opportunity to travel Europe. “I can find a toilet in nearly every language of the continent,” she would brag. Wo ist die Toilette, bitte; Est-ce que je peux utiliser vos toilettes s’il vous plait?; ¿donde esta tu baño. You get the idea. Later in life, she even learned the phrase in Klingon: nuqDaq ‘oh puchpa”e’ nuqneH! Luck favors the prepared, she would say. Upon fulfilling thier patriotic duty, they made the grueling troop-ship journey back through the hellish Atlantic. As their ship approached the coast of Massachusetts, the ship’s captain received a distress call. They were diverted north and became one of the first ships to offer rescue to the sinking ocean liner, SS Andrea Doria. They first settled in West Harlem in NYC to take advantage of the G.I. bill so Bob could attend Columbia University while Rosie assisted several of Columbia’s most esteemed professors. Funds were scarce, so they would open a 50-cent bottle of Manischewitz and entertain themselves by flicking the kitchen lights and crushing cockroaches. Upon his graduation, their next stop would be their longest. They both got teaching jobs at Wayland Central School. In 1957, the first day Rosie wore maternity clothes to school, she was called to the principal’s office and promptly suspended. “We can’t have the children seeing you in this way.” Another game changer. She was later one of the few teachers to join a sit-in to allow girls to wear pants in school and risked her position to vigorously advocate for Title IX. During her time away from teaching, she and Bob got busy and had three children, which resulted in a lifetime of pride and joy. In 1964 when their youngest was two years old, she returned to teaching, eventually becoming the Director of the Business Department. For 25 years at WCS, she was amazed, inspired and thrilled every single day by her students and colleagues. Upon retirement in 1986, she learned American Sign Language and joined the Business Department at NTID/RIT as an adjunct professor teaching for three years. She then served as a project coordinator for another three years. After retiring full-time, Rosie and Bob travelled the world, visiting 61 countries, one for every year of their marriage. Throughout her daughter’s terminal illness in the early nineties, Rosie became Jeanne’s fierce advocate and supporter. Rosie researched and wrote to countless celebrities on her daughter’s behalf. This was prior to the internet, email, or texting. The response was overwhelming. Hundreds of movie stars, TV actors, celebrated musicians and athletes, astronauts, presidents, British Royals and even the Pope responded. Jeanne’s hospital room gradually filled with autographs, photos, letters, posters, memorabilia, and so much more. Friendships were forged with many who responded including Phyllis Diller, Eartha Kitt, and Joan Baez Sr. Her daughter’s tenacity and grit inspired Rosie to write and publish the book A Better Life for the Chronically Ill: A Guidebook for Creative Caregiving which is still available on Amazon. For her efforts, Rosie would later be presented the Lifespan Celebration of Aging Award by Carol Channing. Among her favorite things were her family, Christmas decorations, the gentle breeze that passed through the cottage at Loon Lake, dancing the lindy and jitterbugging through life with Bob, finally learning to waterski, skittles, genealogy, beer from John & Jen and Ronnie-boy’s Grey Goose martinis. Along the way, she lost a few things: her gall bladder, most of her teeth, best friends Barb K. and Ginny F., her golden girls Evelyn C., Lee M., and Marilyn R., all the soldiers of the 9th Truck, her soulmate, and her courageous daughter Jeanne. Despite this, she never lost her sense of humor and desire to make the world a grander place for everyone, regardless of who they are or choose to be. She would often say “When you’re in a room full of strangers, choose the person who is most unlike yourself and strike up a conversation. You’ll be amazed at what you learn.” Rosie is survived by her sons Robert/Bobby Jr. (Loretta) and James/Binky (Amy), Granddaughters Monica (Rich) Gale and Emily (Gerard) Soratorio, Grandsons James, William, and Michael (Hughes), Great-grandsons Teddy and Brooks (Gale), Great-granddaughter Lily Rose (Soratorio), Daughter-in-Law Penny (Dave) Votypka, loving nieces Kathy and June Keller, the entire Kimmich clan and many adored family and friends too numerous to count. Rosie would encourage you to offer a random act of kindness each day. If the spirit moves you, please donate to a charity of your choice. Rosie’s favorites were the Vincent House in Wayland NY, the USO, the Open Door Mission in Rochester, NY, and the Loon Lake Cemetery fund (of Wayland/Cohocton). A private service for the immediate family will be held this coming spring at Loon Lake.